My Wife Doesn't Love Me Anymore by Andrew G. Marshall

Author:Andrew G. Marshall
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: love, coach, guide, winning, win, her, book, improving, self-esteem, relationships
Publisher: Health Communications Inc
Published: 2014-10-16T00:00:00+00:00

If your wife is passive

In many ways, it is easier to turn around your relationship when your wife is not about to bite your head off—although she is probably still angry but in a passive way. (So please read the previous section too.) Most wives who put the kids’ and their husband’s needs before their own find it hard to stand up for what they truly want and to be assertive. At this point, you’re probably going to shrug or worse still start to despair: “How can I teach my wife to be assertive? Especially as she thinks the relationship is doomed and is not going to want to read some book.” Please don’t panic. You’re only responsible for your half of communication.

However, if you change and become assertive (rather than domineering) this will have a positive effect on how your wife communicates. Basically, I’m going to show you how to improve your listening skills and this will help her be more forthcoming.

Draw her out

Nod your head encouragingly, repeat back the last thing she has said and ask questions. Anything that will give her time to think and delve deeper into how she feels.

Why this works: From when she was a little girl, your wife has been trained to think of others or not be pushy and therefore she will not automatically consider her own needs.

Double Check

Instead of just assuming that she is on board with a plan, check and check again: “Are you sure you want to have a picnic?” or “Wouldn’t you rather do something else?” This is especially important when she seems to be in a bad mood for no apparent reason.

Why this works: Instead of taking her silence or some half-hearted interest in a project as agreement, she has a second opportunity to tell you what’s really on her mind.

Look at her body language

Are your wife’s shoulders slumped, her eyes downcast and lips pouted? Does she have her arms crossed or her back to you? Is she talking so quietly that you can hardly hear? These are all signs that she feels unfairly treated, downtrodden or is having trouble standing up for herself. So ask her: “What does that sigh mean?” or “Why did you just shrug your shoulders?”

Why this works: When there is a mismatch between what her lips say: “I’m fine,” or “Don’t worry about me” and what her body language is telling you, it’s normally a sign that she’s really struggling to be assertive.

Give her permission to say no

Sometimes people need support to say no. So tell her you won’t be upset if she disagrees or wants to do something else: “It’s not that important, so if you’d rather not,” or “I’d prefer you to tell me what you’re really thinking,” or just “Are you sure?’

Why this works: If your wife is a people pleaser, she’s going to worry that you’ll think less of her or that she will let people down and therefore not be a “good person.” This strategy offers reassurance that you would rather have the truth than too easy agreement.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.